Why It’s Ok NOT to Miss Home

Well here we are, September 11th. I want to start this article, with a remembrance for this day.  We will all remember this day as such a sad day filled with so much loss, that has led to even more loss (NOT a political statement, but pure fact no matter how you look at it).  Bless all those affected and loss that day, and every day thereafter.

After that, I wanted to talk about leaving home.  I left my home one year ago today.  I have left before, for college, but this marks the day I left with no intentions of returning. I moved to Connecticut to be with my husband at his (our, I guess) first duty station. We now live in Georgia in our first home and I could not be much happier than I am right now!

So let’s get to the title of this… IT IS OK NOT TO MISS HOME.  I am from a little small town in Calvert County Maryland.  It is very much a town of everyone knows everyone, and alllll of their business. We have certain families that you know are from there just from the name, it’s just how it is. And I NEVER wanted to leave. I loved the area, I never had any problems like other people seem to have there and it was all I had ever known.

So when I found out I was being relocated to Connecticut I wasn’t all that happy.  I was so happy to get to be with my husband again obviously, but I liked what I had in Maryland. I was working at my old high school and coaching cheerleading there. And I really loved it. But life doesn’t always take us the way we thought. SOOOO I picked up my life and moved a few hundred miles away. And I realized… THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO THE WORLD! Calvert County isn’t everything. I have traveled some, but not enough to make me want to not live there.

Whenever anyone would ask me if I was missing home I always said ‘not really’. They said well you haven’t been gone long, or the newness will wear off. Months and months went on.. and I still didn’t miss ‘home’.  I missed a few friends and all of my family, and my cheerleaders/students.  But I didn’t miss it in a way that I wanted to be there still.  I feel if I hadn’t moved I would still be doing the same thing, maybe not married yet, living with my parents, and that’s just not right for me anymore!

It is ok to miss home. It’s where you’re from and all of your memories are connected to there. It is ALSO ok to NOT miss home.  Sometimes, home can be related to stagnant.  Sometimes if you are too comfortable it is hard to push yourself for even more. You can become too comfortable, and not persue more for yourself! Granted, I had a better job when I was still living in Maryland, I feel like I have grown so much more as a PERSON in the past year being away.

So here I am, Happy One Year Moveiversary to me! Can’t wait to see what else the world has for me.

DIY Fall Wreath

Happy Fall Y’all!

Its been a little while, but I finally was able to attempt a little bit more DIY! This time a Nice fall wreath! It was pretty easy to make, and didn’t really cost all that much either. I can’t take all the credit for this wreath, I found a tutorial on Pinterest and then made it my own from there! Here is the link to the wreath here: DIY Fall Wreath

So without further ado, let’s talk about making this!

 

• What you’ll need:
  • Grapevine wreath (I used 18″)
  • Fake flowers
  • Half craft pumpkin (found at Michael’s)
  • Burlap roll
  • Glue gun
  • Scissors or wire cutters
  • Ribbon

So to get started, you want to cut a piece of burlap and wrap it around the wreath a few times. In the picture where the bow is, underneath I wrapped burlap. This gave me a good focus point for where to move the flowers out from, and later to attach the bow to. The next step after this is to place the flowers! I wanted to make sure it felt balanced, so I worked from the burlap out putting one flower on each side. So you just need to cut the flowers off of the stems. I left about two-three inches of stem connected to the flower, and just wove that through the grapevine.  Totally personal preference, but I placed the flowers first, and once I liked it I put a dab of hot glue to make sure they don’t fall out-of-place.

So that process just continues out till you get to a good stopping point that you like! Next comes the bow. So to do this I cut another piece of burlap about 18″ and formed the bow. I found a method for how to make a burlap bow that worked well for me! Instead of using twine (because I didn’t have any) I used a twist tie. From there I cut yet another piece of burlap to a good size to wrap around the middle of the bow to make it look nice and clean!

Side note: from this picture I fiddled with it more to make it more even, I just forgot to take another picture. Oops!

The next step was probably the hardest for me (and of course I didn’t take pictures), placing the pumpkin! I wanted it to sit just right, but it also needed to have enough contact points to be able to glue it.  So once I placed it i applied glue, and more glue and some more glue too! I basically just layered it to make sure it was going to hold! Be careful not to be too messy, but its ok if you are! For me at least, where most of the glue piled up is around where I was going to glue the bow on!

I really wanted to have something cute on the Pumpkin, but of course I no longer had
enough vinyl contact paper to make an image on my Silhouette Portrait! So I found one I liked on google, printed it out and went from there. This was hard because I had to freehand. I don’t have the best handwriting, and the pumpkin is lumpy. So it’s a little difficult to see, but I drew it on with pencil first and then went over it with sharpie. I added thicker lines as I wanted and such. Again, the final result didn’t look as nice as I had hoped, but it’s not too shabby if I say so myself!

 

Final step: Glue on the bow! The ribbon at the top is optional, but I needed it because the vine was too thick to fit on my wreath holder on the door. Ta-da!  I love the way it turned out, and hope if you decide you like it this helps you make one too! Happy DIY friends!

 

Dresser Makeover

Hello all! I haven’t posted in a little while, and I actually finished this a bit ago and forgot to write about it (oops!) So here we go, my little dresser makeover!

Side note before I start this: I did not take progress pictures (and I really really regret it!). As I started this it seemed more and more this was going to be a flop of a project.  Nothing was wanting to work out right at first, so I figured why bother with pictures. BIG MISTAKE! I think it actually turned out well. Oh well, lesson learned… ALWAYS DOCUMENT! If it doesn’t work you can always delete the pictures!

 

So the very first picture, where it has some aqua coloring is where this baby started! Again, I got her off of a Facebook resale site (obsessed this checking these daily). I paid $30 for it ( a little more than I was looking to spend, but it was worth it since I know the person was needing some financial assistance.

So, other than the dresser, heres my list of supplies:

• circle sander
  • sandpaper (60 grit would be best)
  • Zinsser Primer
  • Paint of choice
    • I used a sample of Olympic One in “Pacific Pearl”, satin
    • For my accent color I used the same paint type but in “Crystal Lake”
  • Paint brush
  • Small foam roller

To start with, I pulled all the drawers out from the dresser.  I also knew I was going to get different knobs for it, so I took the old ones out and actually let the person I bought it from keep them. Next comes the hard, and potentially controversial (in the DIY world) part. I sanded the dresser down.  You can read allllll over the place on how to makeover furniture.  A big point of argument is to sand or not to sand. This dresser had already been painted before. Unfortunately for me, it was not painted well.  The paint was lumpy in some spots, and peeled right off in other spots. This left me with no choice but to sand. HOWEVER: If you have a dresser that is original, I would recommend not sanding it or if you do with a very very fine grit just to give the primer something to stick to.  Sanding it ended up peeling off the laminate covering and making it a very rough surface to paint.  With ALOT of effort and a few layers of primer, I was able to get it to a decent level to paint it.

I primed the whole thing twice, and then I painted it twice with my paint also.  Finally, I have A BUNCH of little samples leftover from painting my house. I decided why not try something different? So I decided to paint just the visible part of the drawers (you can see in the picture). I decided I loved it, and will 100% be going back in to paint the entire inside of the drawers too!

Finally all that was left is decorating! I decided to use this dresser as a night stand in my bedroom. We have a limited space, so we don’t have room for dressers and night stands and everything else, and I like the idea of a double purpose item! So, for decorating I went to my favorite stores. TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Ross and Homegoods are bomb.  Awesome items for pretty great prices! So from Ross I was able to find the mirrored dish and I put in the middle of it a little jewelry holder. I think its neat because it makes it look like one piece! From TJ Maxx I got that gorgeous, but different lamp, and the picture frame. I also found those handles at TJ Maxx.  I liked putting a little bit of glitz into the room. Just a touch of girly, but not too much to overwhelm my husband!

 

And there we go! Honestly it was pretty simple, what made it hard for me was that someone had already tried to re-purpose the dresser, using the wrong materials! Sorry again to not have pictures to go with it like last time, but I think its pretty easy to follow!

Filing Cabinet Makeover

I am actually super excited about this post! Why? Because it was my first DIY project I have done!! And, it turned out pretty successfully (if I do say so myself… and I do!).

So TA-DA! Here we are! I think it turned out pretty nice! A little bit of mess ups but not too shabby!

MATERIALS:

• Filing cabinet
• Spray Paint
• Sander
• Sandpaper ( I used 220 and 80)
• Acrylic paint (I used craft smart)
• Dabber sponge
• Not Pictured
  • hardware for drawers
  • Clear coat spray paint (if wanted)

 

We just moved into our home pretty recently and we finally have room for a home office! SCORE! But now we need THINGS. And this all adds up super quickly! One thing I felt we needed was a place to store all of our bills and stuff (the kitchen table was starting to look like a trash pile, oops!) So I decided I needed a filing cabinet, but they are actually kind of expensive (at least more than I was looking to spend). I actually snagged this cabinet for free! I totally encourage you to join the resale sites on Facebook in your area! That’s where I found this guy. He was a little beat up, but the person was downsizing and got rid of it for free! (Also, she gave me a bunch of filing folders and stuff to go with it. Which is super awesome because now I don’t have to buy those either!) So first things first, take apart your cabinet. Remove anything! Locks, handles etc. Once You do that its time to sand it down! First you are going to use the 80 grit paper. The point of this one is to take of the crap. I focused mostly on rust spots and stuff on dirt spots. As you sand, you can actually see a slight color change over top the areas you have gone over. I went ahead and made sure everything looked gone over.

After that, you want to go over it all with the 220 grit. This is a super fine sandpaper and its goal is to make everything nice and smooth! Once you do this, go ahead and spray it off and wipe it down. This removes any of the left over particles of dust and such. This is the end result of all that! Looks pretty ugly, but it was nice and smooth and ready to move on. (TIP: Don’t forget to do the drawers too!)

Next step: Spray paint! I went pretty simple and just wanted to go with the colors I have in my house, but sky’s the limit! Pick whatever makes you happy! In my garage I set up a little paint area by taping cardboard up. I just wanted to limit the amount of paint I got everywhere!

So the spray painting… took me forever! In Georgia its REALLY humid… so the paint did NOT want to dry! So with light layers and a few hours in between, I added a few coats! If you are looking for info on how to spray paint best, look up some YouTube videos. For me, I had my husband help me (just to make sure I didn’t mess it up!

TIP: After my first coat, it did seem pretty messed up. It was all lumpy and I was so upset it wasnt going to turn out nice! Luckily my husband paints all the time, and just helped me wet sand it (another tip to look up if you think it isn’t looking nice). So we wet sanded it, and added a primer that fills in holes! And I went back to painting (thanks hubby!).

 

The next part, was also pretty long and tedious (sorry, but its true). After going to Michael’s to pick out a stencil I liked (they didn’t actually have the pattern I wanted but the chevron is always a good choice, MIRITE?), it was time to begin the process! So what I did was lay the stencil down where I wanted the pattern to go, used the dabber and my acrylic paint and started dabbing (no not the new craze going around, little pats with the sponge). Once I finished the whole stencil design, i pulled it off, and washed it. I repeated this over and over again on each drawer till I go the pattern all the way across. And then… I DID IT ALL AGAIN! This was to make it darker, because the first time around it was just too light of a color for my liking. (TIP: wait for the paint to dry before you put the stencil down again! Otherwise you will probably smear the paint and you will be so annoyed!). Once you have finished with the stencil, I recommend spraying a light layer of clear coat. This is just to make sure everything is held on nicely and to help resist any scratching that might occur.

Finally, once everything is done its time to put it all back together! I went out and decided I
wanted new hardware for it. I felt like I couldn’t have a totally redone cabinet, and still use the old, plastic, off white hardware for the drawers! So I went to Lowes and picked out one that I liked! (TIP: Take the original with you, that way you can make sure you get a new hardware that will fit in the existing holes. You can also make sure to buy different screws for the right length if you need!) I was not able to find screws short enough to fit into my drawer correctly, they were all too long! So my awesome husband recommended a fix… CARDBOARD! Yep, you read that right. So on the inside of the drawers I cut down a piece of cardboard and screwed right through it to make the hardware fight correctly! It seems silly, but its an easy and cheap fix that no one will ever notice!

 

 

So it’s all together now, and you did it! You turned old and drab to cute and fab! (cheesy,
but I think every post needs something corny in it!) Hope this helps some of you and you get some good home projects out of this! If you make your own, please share your creations with me!

Being a 20 Something…

… IS FREAKING HARD!

Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. By so many, you are still seen as a child who needs to just listen to what your elders have to say to you. But on the flip-side, they expect you to have everything figured out. This includes but is not at all limited to:

• Life plans
• career plans
• have a family
• know how taxes work
• have and understand your mortgage (escrow account say what?)
• have a retirement plan
• blablabla

But then you are also told not to settle, and to wait to find the right one (house, job, lover etc.). So my question for you ‘elders’… WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO BE?

I can’t have it all figured out and still be a kid and have a full-time career knowing exactly what I want for the rest of my life while also exploring whats right for me.

There are some people my age traveling the world, others have this amazing job (which, how the hell did they get that? They either didn’t go to college or did but are working in something not at all related to anything they studied!).  I see a few who somehow are turning their drams and passions into a tangible thing, and a career (you go, so proud of you people). Some are married, and on their own, with three kids and living life just grand. Some have yet to do anything and are still living at home with their small town life. And there are some like me… in between it all. I did go to college, but it hasn’t helped me find a job. I am married, and we are moved out living in our own home, but that is all thanks to my husband. I am not really helping to provide right now, that’s all him and the Navy (which although I was never thrilled about this life, I am very thankful for all we have been able to do because of it). Stuck. In. Middle. Land.

I am so exhausted just trying to figure out where in life I am supposed to be as a 20 something.  So my advice? SCREW IT! Find what makes you happy, and do it! Do lots of it, all the time! Experiment! With careers and friends and foods. Buy that puppy, it can be your companion while you figure everything else out!

I am not saying my life sucks, and I know some have it better, some have it worse. Life is all about perspective. With that said… PLEASE STOP EXPECTING ME TO BE SOMETHING. Or at a certain point in my life. We 20 somethings are trying our hardest. Also, who is there to put a timeline on this anyway? I’ll do it all in my own time, thank you very much!

Where Do I Belong?

This is a question I have ALWAYS struggled with in my life. Among my friends I feel that I have always been a second tier. While some call me their best friends, im never anyones first go to person. I wouldn’t be the maid of honor, but till a bridesmaid. And that’s ok, its how it’s always been so I am pretty used to how it goes. I did cheerleading for a while, but I never really fit in with those girls either. I tend to hang out with guys more often. People have their opinions on that, and thats fine. Truly, IDGAF. If you ask most of the guys I hang out with I basically am one of them; they say all the time “but you’re not actually a girl”. But I am obviously, so again… where do I belong?

So I havent really figured that out yet. I know I feel MOST comfortable whenever I am with my husband. Doing whatever it is that makes us happy. He is the only person who has always put me as the number one in his life, and that is just fine by me. He really is my absoloute best friend. A lot of couples say that I am sure, but it really is different with us. You have to know us to understand I guess. So I may not have found my place in this world, but I know right by his side is where I will always belong, and always fit in.

On another note, I think it is really important in a blog to have a focus. Some choose to showcase their life adventures. Others like to provide their words of wisdom. While others like to share their life experiences for others to maybe relate to. And some people like to just share their lives so people can keep up with whats going on in their lives.

But.. I just havent figured out where I fit in here. I don’t have that many adventures to post about, but I share when I do. I havent gone through much to share my wisdom, but sometimes I think I have good tips so I share them too. And really I don’t have that much interesting things for other people to want to keep up with.

So where do I fall? I guess just posting whatever pops into my head. Whatever feels the most cathartic for me to write about I suppose. Not that it really matters, no one really reads this anyway.

Flexibility

I feel like we can all say a lot on this idea here. It has so many purposes in our lives really.

To start with it directly, it has health benefits! It loosens our muscles so we have fewer aches and pains, which is always good. Eliminates pulled muscles; the further you can stretch the further you can move without pulling them. This ones a no brainer. But how about this one: they say it can make you more heart healthy! That’s right, apparently something about reducing arterial stiffness which then in turn reduces risks of strokes, heart attacks, and heart disease. I’m no doctor, so I can’t explain it all but these seem like pretty cool facts to me!

It also has other health benefits. You know ones such as not ripping your hair out or banging your head into a wall. Oh wait, I forgot to switch gears here… I am now referring to the less direct meaning of flexibility and am now talking about flexibility in life.This is especially hitting me this week, so it just felt like the right thing to talk about.

A word of advice for anyone thinking about getting into a military relationship: BE FLEXIBLE!

I have never been the most flexible person; I try really hard to be, but I am a person who likes routine and structure. I am An A[lex] type personality. I am assuming everyone knows what that means, but just in case it means I am a freak who likes things organized and to go as planned (to put it lightly).

My husbands schedule keeps getting switched around. One week he’s gone at 6am and home around 3pm. Others he leaves around 2pm and is home around midnight. There is a looming possibility of switching yet again to 11pm to 8am. And in between it has been back and forth with all the schedules. Currently I am not working, so it drives me NUTS to not be able to accurately plan. And yes I need to plan. I make lists and on my lists an item is usually to check another list! So when do I clean, run my errands and make diner!?

These seem trivial things to think about, but for me it is just how my mind works. I seem to have gone off on a bit of a rant here.. but what I am trying to say is that I am trying! I am learning, and trying really hard to be more flexible. I guess step one is realizing the importance of flexibility in all things. So CHECK! Got that one down. Now step two is me BECOMING flexible. And that is a much much harder leap for me to make…

Updates, Consistency Isn’t My Thing

Well it has been a while, yet again since I last posted. I haven’t really been so good at keeping this thing updated. I would love to promise to do better, but I am a fickle minded individual and I know theres no point in that promise. I post when I have things to say, and I don’t when I don’t. So with that said lets go with some updates!

Last I posted was in January, and for the most part nothing too new. Well except for the fact that my husband got his first set of orders! So we now live in Kingsland, Georgia! We did A LOT of looking and researching and talking (and by we I mean me, Stephen mostly
just listened and agreed with me) about housing and… we decided to buy! Renting was going to cost at least 300 more than a mortgage. So we got ourselves a cute little 3bd/2br, 1200sq/ft house! Its pretty cute, and needs a little bit of work on things here and there. But overall, we got a great deal on it and its a perfect little starter home! We have been here for almost a month and are taking our time getting it ready!

Heres a few before and afters of a couple of the rooms we have finished so far:

 

 

Well, really thats it for now! Just wanted a small update with whats going on! I am hoping to start posting more, but well see what life has planned for me I suppose!

Baby Talk

Oh babies.. they are so cute, right? And they are EVERYWHERE. I am currently at that age, as are my peers, where babies start. My entire news feed is filled with people finding out they are pregnant, updates throughout pregnancy, and the final little miracle at the end! And I am so happy for every single one of those new mothers and fathers and all the joy being brought into the world.

With that all being said, yes… I am so jealous! I have been with my now husband for 8 years, and married for one year. I have always assumed I would be a younger mom, and I am at the point where I am ready to start our family. We have talked about starting a family, and while maybe starting a family is something we both want, we both feel that we are not quite where we want to be in life for this next stage.  Everyone has their reasons for starting their family, while others have their reasons for not starting one. Either way, decisions are between the couple and should be respected.

For us personally much of our decision making on starting a family has to do with being in the military. It presents a whole new set of challenges that many do not have to face or think about. What if he is gone when I deliver? How will I cope with being a single mother on and off? How will it affect his bond with our child? These are all ideas that we have to consider. I realize there are so many military families that have had babies and have managed just find. I do realize it IS possible. But for my relationship, it is still something we are navigating and discussing. Its just our personal decision.

This all is a little more random of a post than I like, but I think ultimately I want to make the point that the decision to have a child is between the couple. And no offense to anyone, but it is no one else’s business. Not family or friends. So next time you talk to someone, just really think about what you say before you talk to someone about having a child. Here is a list of the following phrases I know I personally have heard:

• Why haven’t you had a baby yet?
• When are you going to have a kid?
• You know you’re young now, but there is a biological clock ticking (people I am in my early twenties… I have PLENTY of time still, jeeze)
• I thought it would be you next
• I thought you would be pregnant by now

The list goes on and on and on, and all of it really is equally as offensive. And I know most people don’t think it is offensive, and have no intentions of being rude.  But, in my personal opinion, it is just new your place to say or ask these things to anyone. I am sad that I do not have a child yet, but we also have decided that it is just not quite the right time. Maybe in the near future, but were not there yet.

In sum, please remember this is a really difficult and important life decision! All things will happen when the time is right, and you just need to let couples be. I promise, they will be ready and soon enough they will want to share the news with everyone! You just need to wait it out, and don’t add unnecessary stress on a couple already handling a very stressful life decision!

4 TIPS FOR SIG OTHER LEAVING

I am still super new to the military life. It has only been about 7 months, but already I feel like I have learned so much! I decided a good post was to talk about how to cope! Because let’s face it, this life is ROUGH! It is very difficult to live without the most important person in your life around. I know for me at least, my husband is always the first person I go to for EVERYTHING, so I felt extremely lost with his absence. I realize he was only gone for two months, but for us it was our first time being away from each other for any significant amount of time without regular contact! With that said, here are my

4 tips to best cope with a leave of absence of your significant other!

 

1. ALLOW YOURSELF TIME TO BE SAD

A lot of people disagree with me on this and that is totally fine. But in my personal opinion, the only way to move on is to actually experience all of your emotions. For me, this meant being really really sad. I cried and locked myself up in my room and watched movies that I could cry to and just let myself feel alllll the feels. Otherwise I know I would have repressed the emotions and they would have come out in some other way (which for me meant most likely exploding on someone for something super minor). So do it, feel it all! Sometimes it feels way better to let emotions out than to bottle them in!

With this being said, don’t indulge too long. The world goes on; you’ll see your person again!

 

2. DO NOT LET ALL OTHER RELATIONSHIPS DIE

This was hard for me. At first I wanted nothing to do with anyone. I was sad my husband was gone and I let that consume me. Like I said before you need to feel, but then you need to pick yourself up! I have a nasty history of not being able to pick myself back up sometimes, and luckily I had a really great support group! My two best friends unfortunately both live a few hours away from me (but right near each other). They insisted that I come and visit them the weekend after my husband left. That weekend meant more to me than any other weekend finally. Sometimes I forget that I do have people there for me, but these friends are the best! They knew I was being a bitchy person hating life and still loved me and made sure I had a good time! If ya’ll read this, know I love you so much!

Your spouse shouldn’t be your only relationship! Use this time to form or strengthen other relationships! If you are dealing with this military life, your significant other will probably be leaving a lot! You need someone else to be able to lean on in hard times! Just makes sure you don’t ONLY rely on them then; no one likes to feel like they are being used only when needed. Friends are there for you for all the times, not just your bad and lonely times!

 

3. MAKE PLANS AND BE BUSY

I actually didn’t really do this on purpose, but it helped so much! I am not going to say the time went by any quicker, I still missed him every single day, but the distractions helped
the time pass more pleasantly!

I was working at a high school so I was working everyday, plus doing things with the cheerleading team I was coaching, and a night job I had also. Once school ended I had SO many plans for the summer! I went to Rhode Island, I went to Ocean City for a girl’s weekend (which was hands down the craziest weekend of my life) and just so many other things in between! All of a sudden it was the end of July and it was time for graduation!

 

4. WORK ON YOU

Sometimes, we can loose sight of ourselves when we are so enveloped in an important relationship with another person. At first, he left and I had a severe identity crisis. I felt like I didn’t know who I was without him in my life, and that was scary to me. So I started doing things just for me. I started running again. This doesn’t sound like much, but it used to mean a lot to me. Then 3 knee surgeries later, I can’t do it, and it really sucked! But I started slowly working on it, and other aspects of my health. I was actually able to loose 30 pounds this summer which was awesome! I also read more books, and took sometime to reconnect with old friends who I had sort of lost contact with. None of this makes up for not having my other half, but sometimes it is good to have some alone time and be selfish and focus on you!

 

Again, I realize this was only two months. Plenty of others go through much longer periods of time without seeing their significant other. I know I have a long road ahead of me filled with months of alone time without my husband. We just have to remember its not the end of the world, we are not the first people to go through it, and we will be ok!